I’d like to share a comment left by getboboweds on my article Project: I, Blogger UPDATE!  It’s a very long comment and makes some excellent points about a life and a life worth living.

Hi. I am here at the first time. Would you like to lay out an interesting article. Original lifehack.org.

If you want to look back on a life that fills you with joy, conventional rules for success are not the place to start

1. Don‘t chase money, power, or status.
If they come to you, that‘s fine. But most conventional ideas about success go wrong because they focus on outcomes instead of on the processes of living. Outcomes come around from time to time, but life itself—the process of living, acting, thinking, and being—happens all the time. No outcome is going to make a lousy, miserable process feel worthwhile.

If you hate what you do, no amount of power or money will make up for that. If your life is constantly stressful, boring, unhappy, or frustrating, how can achieving some high status once in a while make up for all the miserable days and weeks you spent getting there? It‘s tempting to feel that the end will more than make up for the means; that you‘ll forget the misery in the blaze of achievement. And you will—for a few moments. Then you‘ll be back on the treadmill, with only the distant hope of some fresh achievement or monetary gain to console you. That‘s like being a laboratory rat conditioned to unnatural behavior by occasional pellets of food.

2. Take whatever time you need to discover what matters to you most
Success isn‘t simply a matter of money, power, or prestige. You could gain all of those and still feel that you have fallen short of what you wanted; or you could gain none of them and be blissfully happy and fulfilled. What constitutes personal success is mostly in your mind. It has much less to do with finding the best career in other peoples‘ eyes, creating a killer business, or holding down a fancy job with a big salary than with achieving what really matters to you. Many people find this out too late. They struggle for years to get where other people said they should go, only to find it does little or nothing for them. Sad;y, it‘s often too late by then to do anything else.

3. Don‘t base your choices on others‘ approval. We all want to please those we care about, so it‘s natural to try to do what they approve. Natural, but rarely a good idea as the basis for life‘s choices. I don‘t say that you should deliberately ignore sound advice, or reject a career path simply because other people suggest it. But even the most loving parent or friend can‘t always see what is going to make your heart sing. Listen to others. Value their input and their support. But go your
own way. It‘s better to be committed to doing what you truly love than accept something lesser for the sake of being approved by someone else.

4. Stay authentic. That means always doing what truly matters to you and is part of who you are. The simplest definition of a hypocrite is someone who says one thing and does another: like a person who says that he or she wants to work at something that benefits society, then forgets that at the first sight of a fistful of dollar bills. Somewhere inside of you is a part that recalls what truly matters and will never quite let you forget it. Over the years, that inner voice is only going to get louder.

5. Go for meaning over money every time. It‘s perfectly possible to do something meaningless to you and earn a great deal of cash while doing so. Some people do, especially in parts of the media world. It just requires a stronger stomach and more cynicism that most people possess, plus a huge tolerance for boredom.

Is it worth it? If money is truly all that matters to you—and you can make lots of it quickly and get out—it might be. Few areas of work will allow you to do that, aside from criminal ones. Meaningless days corrode most peoples‘ minds and destroy their happiness. Doing something that means a great deal to you almost always makes you feel energized and alive. It‘s your choice.

6. Be endlessly greedy—for learning. You can never learn too much or overfill your mind with new ideas. Nothing is more useful in life than a well-developed, well-stocked mind, especially one that has been broadened and enlarged in the process. It‘s hard to name a single famously successful person who was narrow-minded, bigoted, or stupid. The list of notable successes who are recognized for the power of their minds is long. And you don’t have to have had an expensive education to be able to develop a great mind. There have been plenty of near geniuses whose education was almost entirely self-produced.

7. Make a friend of failure. You are certain to fail sometimes, and the higher your aspirations, the more frequent and significant that failure will be. People who don’t strive for anything glorious rarely fail; they take no risks and never aim beyond what is easily attainable. But if you treat failure as an enemy, it’s going to lead only to discouragement and even the abandoning of your hopes and dreams. Failure can be a friend, pointing out what isn’t right yet and showing you the way to do better. The more proficient you become at accepting the lessons of failure, the quicker you will succeed.

8. Make sure that every time you make a mistake, it’s a new one. Making the same mistake several times shows that you haven’t learned what it can teach you. Making new mistakes proves that you’re trying something different. The best definition of a loser is someone who makes the same mistakes over and over again, never managing to learn anything in the process. Such a person is doomed.

9. Choose to spend your time with the right people. I don’t mean that in the sense of the rich and the powerful, the movers and shakers of society. Whether they’re powerful or not, the best people to spend time with are those from whom you can learn most: the ones whose own lives have brought them joy and endless fulfillment. That means people who do what they love and love what they do. People who have become experts in life, thinking people, people with wide-open minds and wide-open hearts.

Seek them out wherever you can. Listen to them. Never mind if they are no longer living. Read their books and emulate their largeness of spirit. Learn from them all, but don’t simply copy what they did in this world. What they did was right for them, but may not be right for you. What you need to use as models are their ways of thinking and responding to the challenges of the world; the process of their lives, not what it happened to contain.

10. Drop whatever is inconsistent with these principles. That means all activities that don’t move you forward towards what you value most; things that get in the way of learning; pursuits that waste time and dull your senses; and people who hold you back. You may sometimes have to be ruthless. Each of us has only one life. If you waste it, you don’t get another chance. Besides, if you have chosen your dreams and aspirations wisely, what you must leave behind by dropping what’s inconsistent with those dreams will not be worth worrying about anyway. Those who make bad choices find, too late, that they have abandoned things and people that meant more to them than whatever they gained in exchange. If that happens, you have truly reached one of life’s lowest points.

Lets discuss?

And my response, not as long but comes from my point of view…

Sounds exactly like some conversations I had with a young lady back in college. I didn’t have a family back then, but I still feel the same. Growing up, we all were brought up living a certain lifestyle, be it living hand-to-mouth or having a new car every year because you get tired of the old one. I don’t claim to speak for all men, but I feel that it’s my duty as the husband and father to do as well for my family as my father did, better if possible. I have a loving wife and two wonderful little boys; I love them all to death! There’s almost nothing I wouldn’t do to take care of them. I sacrifice, gladly, to make sure that their needs are taken care of. At this point we go from needs to wants and desires. I believe that my family should have the finer things in life; does that mean a new car every year? No, but a car under 3-5 years old would be nice . I have dreams for my family and myself. Is it wrong to work towards those dreams and hope to turn them into reality? I don’t think so. That brings us to the ways and means; does the end justify the means? Do work your life away to provide for your family? Do you miss out on precious moments with your children as they’re growing up to make life alittle more enjoyable for them? I would love to be able to stay at home and not miss a thing when it comes to my 1 year old’s firsts (first walking type of stuff), but I work my job and businesses so my family can do better. Is that wrong, I think so, but like the poet goes, “But I’ve got promises to keep, and Miles to go Before I Sleep, and Miles to go Before I Sleep.”

What are your thoughts?

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The time for secrets is over! The sheets are coming back! The blinders are coming off!

My Deep Dark Secret, Well, Kinda

In looking at the results of the first three Project: I, Blogger installments, I noticed that the initial push had fantastic results in the amount of participation. There was a great amount of conversation, which was my goal. The second episode had half the response of the first article, but still a better than average amount of comments. The third article, by far the largest article of the three and asked direct questions of the readership, had two responses.

The failure of the third article could be in several factors:

1. I promoted the first article directly to every blog that I subscribed to at the time via RSS. The second article I did zero promotion. The third article I promoted via blogs that visited me through MyBlogLog and various new blogs I found through links from my RSS subscriptions.
2. The first two articles were actually reflections of the community discussions. I made a departure in the third article in that I bought up a subject I thought related to the topic, and asked questions. It was an artificially created article in that it wasn’t a topic the community was discussing.
3. I found, joined, and posted an affiliate link in the third article. I did it to give an example of what affiliates are out there; I wanted to use a bad example. There were more explicit affiliates I could have chosen, but I would like to stay family friendly and, in my opinion, that video was nothing worse than what you can see on network television.
4. I detailed the benefits for the affiliate I used as an example. To some people, it could appear that I was pushing the program for my own profit.

Of all the reasons that the third article didn’t play well, I went with #1, that I didn’t promote it well enough. So, here’s where we get into the questionable tactics on my part…

Everyone who has ever commented on a blog, you know that as part of entering your information to comment, your email address is requested. So, using the FeedFlares at the end of the Project: I, Blogger — I Have Questions post, I took all the commentators’ email addresses from all the Project: I, Blogger commentators and direct emailed the third article to them. I personally hate spam and unsolicited emails, so I fought over this for a week or two. In the end, I thought it would be a great addition to the discussion of bloggers’ ethics. You’ll notice that when you’re entering your email address for the comment, while it does say that the address will not be publicly posted, it says nothing about the blogger not using it.

Was It Worth It?  The Results… 

Well, this experiment / promotion failed as well. The emails themselves were sent out late 7/28. I sent roughly twelve emails out, there was a spike of seven page views for that article the same day. You could say that was a conversion rate of 58%; I see it as a failure in that the article didn’t do it’s job: to spark a discussion about the article. So in that sense, the promotion worked, but then we go back to failure in points two, three, or four.

The question I have now is, what do you think of the use of my non-solicited email promotion? When you submit comments, you don’t expect your email address used for promotions from that blogger. You could say mine was innocent in that it was just a blog article connected to another article they already showed interest in. How about when you extend that to an affiliate marketing program related to a blog article you commented on? Where do you draw the line?

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1. Ignored
2. Accepted
3. Flamed

So, if you are one of my readers involved in this experiment, and you get really pissed off, I’m sorry.  My goal is to push the bounds of blogging behavior and see what is viewed as aceeptable behavior and what is considered going past that line.

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My goal is to give updates as to how we’re doing on Project: I, Blogger.  I have two more emailed responses to give credit in this edition but before we get to that, I have some ethical questions for bloggers and from my perspective, they have a business feel to them.

Where I’m Coming From

I can’t help but see things from a business point of view.  All blogs, whether they are used  to make an income or not, are businesses.  They are extensions of yourself and put forth your point of view on a topic, be it your personal life or a topic that you have interest in. 

How Would You Act in Real Life?

The two prime ways to make money via blogs are through advertising (AdSense, AdBrite, etc) and affiliates. 

AdSense is a great reflection of your blog; they use contextual software that reads your blog for keywords.  Those keywords are used to match your ad blocks to what you wrote about.  So, that means for the most part, if you are embarrassed by an AdSense ad, you should probably look at your posts and see if you wrote about something you would be embarrassed about.  AdBrite on the other hand, asks you to submit keywords for your ads.  On top of that, you have the option to have family friendly ads or “edger” ads (but no adult ads).  It’s totally in your control.  TextLinkAds offer a set dollar amount just for placement on your blog, regardless of clicks.  If you were offered a set amount for ad placement on your blog, would it matter what the ad promoted? 

Product sales through affiliates, I believe, are a great window into your thoughts and views.  You control the products offered and how they are offered.  When you sell an affiliate through your blog, in general, you are promoting and suggesting to your readers to buy the product.  Have you used the product?  Did you find value in the product?  From my personal perspective, I have turned down products in my own off-line business because I didn’t like the products.  They would have sold well, but I wouldn’t take them on for two reasons. 

1. I didn’t feel that I could get behind the product and give it my all.  When running a business, you must support and be behind all products 100%.
2. I have built up a relationship of respect with my customers.  I deal with quality products only and give money back guarantees.  I just feel that it isn’t right to sell a product that I don’t like.

The video below is an example that ties both ads and affiliates together. Would you put this ad for an affiliate on your blog?  Note, this is an example and I am not actually promoting the service offered.

1. $1.00 per unique visitor
2. 75% commission for initial orders and 55% for recurring orders
3. A one time $85.00 commission per member order
4. Refer other webmasters and earn 10% of their payouts.

Does the promise of big pay days make your head spin? What would you do?

Now, on to the emails!

Tyler from TylerCruz.com commented:

Regarding your project, I’ll contribute one idea/ethic I have. It is to not blatantly copy somebody elses idea or style without at least stating where they got the idea from. I’ve had many people copy my style of post writing, from writing style to post outlines. I’ve also had many people copy various ideas and naming conventions. The lease they could do, ethically, would be to state where they got the ‘idea’ from.

For example, when I copied John Chow’s Review My Blog idea, I give him all the credit. Others should do the same.

Matt Stoddart from There’s Something on My Mind…I Think comments:

I tend to view blogging in a very simplistic way, but that’s just the kind of
person I am. I try to write every post with one thing in mind: “nobody is going to read this.” Sound crazy? It might, but it’s the most effective way I’ve found
to really be honest and true to the message I’m trying to get across. I find
that if I’m too worried about the audience, then sometimes the voice of my post can be affected. And to me, that’s not what blogging is all about. After all,
the term “blog” really means “web log” and I interpret a log as being something personal in nature. A sort of diary or journal, if I can be that cheesy.

In regards to the online ethics of blogging, a little common-sense and good
manners are my guide. I’m not into attacking people through posts or comments.  Critical opinions are absolutely fine and encouraged, as far as I’m concerned, but all too often I see gutless “anonymous” comments or overtly defamating posts and I just think that’s lame.

I think a contributing factor in the way bloggers blog is the reason they’re
blogging to begin with. (That sounded confusing, huh?) But seriously, if I’m
blogging on http://blog.linkworth.com, I’m going to be exceptionally mindful of
what I put out there because I work for LinkWorth and I’m representing the
company, you know? I gravitate towards a little humor in everything I do and my posts there are no different, but I’m really careful about not misrepresenting our company’s message or philosophy as a whole.

Now, If I’m writing on one of my personal blogs, the attitude and voice is the
same but the subject matter is probably a little less-guarded. (Especially if
it’s a Friday night and I’ve had a few beers!) But still, the same rules should
and do apply for posts on those blogs, as well.

Have opinions, but don’t be stupid or close-minded.

Don’t steal other people’s shit and try to make it your own.

Participate in the conversation! (Until this year, for the most part, I was too
much of a lurker and being part of the conversation is much more rewarding and beneficial to the authors of the blogs you enjoy reading. Do them a favor and mix it up with them!)

Again, thanks to everyone who has commented or submitted their thoughts! What do you think?

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I had several readers send their thoughts via email. As promised, here is what people are saying:

Dan from Blog Success Journal suggests that the individual follow their heart. Dan goes along with the common theme of following your offline moral compass.

Chris from Blog-Op, as he was packing for his vacation, gave several excellent points.

• Never, ever steal content, period.
• Don’t be afraid to give credit - Even if another blogger only gave you the basic idea for your 4000 word original post, it doesn’t hurt to link back.
• Link often, but only when relevant.Don’t feel you have to get hitched onto a link train if you don’t want to.
• Don’t write for Google, write for humans.
• Don’t hotlink images.
• Never write in a comment, what you wouldn’t say to someone’s face.
• Don’t accuse another blogger of anything without rock hard evidence.
• Don’t use the email address you gather for comments, for spam purposes - A personal message is fine, but when I get a ‘Dear friend - please Digg my blog’ generic type email it gets marked as spam and deleted.
• Treat others as you like to be treated.

Finally, Sue from Sueblimely, bless her heart didn’t want it appear that she was using this to promote her blog, submitted a post she wrote titled Betiquette. She writes about respecting your readers, other bloggers, and the people you live with.

I feel that we’ve barely scratched the surface what behavior of bloggers and what the community sees as acceptable behavior. We’ve all seen and read articles on how to scam free links by working Alexa, Technorati, Google, etc. How do these practices fit into you ethics?

Everyone keep up the great work! As I told one reader, Project: I, Blogger isn’t about me telling the community about what is acceptable ethics for bloggers. I wanted to start a community wide discussion where the community says “this is what we think, this is what we believe, and this is how we act.” Continue your emails and comments!

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• Project: I, Blogger Update!
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Even after reading Maki’s comment under Anyone Have a Blogger Guide to Ethics, I couldn’t help keep thinking about it.  Is there no set of guidelines that most bloggers follow?  Aren’t there certain things you just don’t do? 

 Project: I, Blogger

I’m going to visit as many blogs as I can, asking everyone I can, what do you, as a blogger, see as the universal ethics of being a blogger.  If you have an opinion or views, please, post them in the comment section below or send me an email using the Contact Me page.  I’ll be compiling the results, with linkbacks, as soon as I get a good sample.  HOPEFULLY some A-List bloggers will participate, but their views will be as equal as other bloggers.  The only thing I ask is that you mention in your comments or emails how long have you been blogging.

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• Live Your Life!
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